I decided that I don't want to just go through life in a blur and follow whatever people say to me because I think their ideas are better and only think about totally awesome things but I want to share them. Kinda sad that I am just beginning to realize how much I want it and I'm actually starting to do something about it. 16, almost 17 years into this life of whatever it is and I am finally starting to do something about myself and trying to find that place where I belong. I mean, I've tried to find it before, but now I am actually working myself into that place. And I don't want to leave. But what will happen when those who surround me in that place where I find comfort and satisfaction leave? Will I have to move with them? Will I be able to stay in that place when the people that I care about the most are gone? Will they really be gone?
It's actually quite amazing how all of this is making sense to me right now. I almost want to laugh because things are working out and I feel utterly content about it. It's incredible! God is certainly doing something for me and through me (though the latter I have not quite figured out even though I have been able to lead someone to Christ and it makes me laugh everytime I think about it--don't ask why I just do because it is a wonderful feeling and an awesome relief). I feel like no one is going to be able to keep me down, at least not for long. Besides, freedom is handed to me in the form of an acceptance letter to university next year so it can't be all that bad. Hard to believe that little Cheryl is going to leave behind the known world of Courtice in just over a year! Little Cheryl is going to do something with her life and she is going to be used mightily by God. I'm not saying that to be egotistic/self-centered, but it is something that God has shown me so why not share it with the people that I love..seeing as they are the only ones who read this but I am totally fine with that because they understand my crypticness for which I love them that much more. So I'll say it right now: I love you! :)
Pastor Steve Jr. (PS2) had a concert last night in Port Perry so the youth all took a bus up there to watch and support him. It was a pretty good time but some things with people just don't make sense. There's too much drama when it comes to guy/girl relationships that don't work out. Honestly..just stick with what you've got and work through it. Skylar and Angela broke up like ages ago but she still likes him and then there's problems. Tyler is now going out with Jana (last thing I'd EVER expect to hear because they are COMPLETE opposites) but then Natilee was having some problem with Tyler even though they broke up a couple months ago after going out for 4 days. And then having Kevin there was just a bad reminder and Josh is a pain in the neck because he indirectly tells me that I don't have to hang out with Jonas so I just wanna tell him (Josh) to shut up. (He's like the most self-centered person I've ever met!) So pretty much all night I just wanted you there, especially since I hadn't seen you all day. :(
I really don't know why I wrote all that and you probably don't really care because you don't know these people but this is what I get when I come to youth sometimes. :P
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3 comments:
better late than never to realize that you don't want to follow what other people say. And really, being 16 and realizing that isn't too late. not late at all in fact. Think about it. Up until about the age of 5 you don't really have any awesome thoughts anyways so those years cancel out. Then you got 5-10 years old when you are forming the basic thoughts and still following orders. From then on things start getting complicated. So 16 is a good time. Now to put it into action...
So I know you said not to ask, but that is a reason for me to ask. :P What is so funny about leading someone to Christ?
Love you too kiddo. <3
Funny you should be commenting on why Tyler and Jana are dating if they are opposites... (find the cryptic message in that :P).
Sounds like youth is a bit of a bugger for you. My bad for making it a problem. it's what I do. Put little thorns in people lives, and I love it. People learn some good lessons from it. :) Hope you learn a few things.
Why would Josh say that you don't have to hang out with me? He hasn't even met me...has he?
yea, at least im starting to take a step. i think that i've tried to do so before too but it is just something that i am focusing more on now. if during ages 5-10 you only form basic thoughts then my thoughts as i get older are going to be crazy! lol
its not funny per say to lead someone to Jesus but its just the fact that it makes me so incredibly happy (to the point that it is joy) and..iunno, its just one of those amazing emotions that makes everything seem so positive and good in every respect. its just awesome to see God working in someone's life and you have a chance to be a part of it.
yes, i thought of the cryptic message even when i wrote it originally. :P but we are that opposite are we? i mean, even if we are, we are compatible and sometimes when things are so opposite from each other, they look similar. youth is only annoying when you'd much rather have your bf there :)
to be honest, i think that Josh may like me and thats why he says that stuff about you because he knows about our relationship..i made sure to make it very clear to him. nothing to worry about :)
Mmhmm. My props to you for taking a step. :)
Well, I was just giving general ages. Maybe you are ahead of the curve or my numbers are wrong. :P
Oh, I see what you are saying about leading someone to Christ. I can imagine that being something pretty sweet.
Aha, way to catch the cryptic message. :D Well I'm thinking we could be that opposite. You are on the shy, quiet side. I'm not (at least, not at school or with my friends). You are like the awesome church-going girl, I'm the....opposite of that. :P Etc etc.
Bummer on youth being annoying. :( It shouldn't be that way
Good job on making things clear with Josh. :) Man, you have to put it up with so much for me. I'm glad to still have you kicking around for me.
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